12 January 2023
Daily radiotherapy for six weeks meant daily hospital visits. First, I had a feeding rig installed in my stomach. My doctor and nurse explained it as a lifeline for patients with swallowing issues and pain. I didn’t expect my side effects to get so severe, but I was wrong.
The feeding rig caused pain immediately after insertion. The stitches were painful and uncomfortable for the first two weeks of radiotherapy. I couldn’t sleep on my side, my usual position, and my pain threshold was tested after two major operations. Somehow, I managed to endure the pain and get through each day.
By the third week, my neck skin turned reddish, and I felt nauseous. I was still feeding myself and didn’t use the feeding rig until two days before radiotherapy ended. At that point, side effects peaked: my neck blistered, and I experienced daily vomiting and severe illness.
My symptoms became so intense that I was hospitalised for a few days. I was dehydrated and needed help from nurses and doctors to recover. Many patients dislike using the feeding rig. It felt unnatural to me, and I wanted to use my throat muscles as much as possible.
For two weeks after treatment, I relied on the feeding rig, my lifeline, because I lost 5kg quickly and had no appetite. By the end of those two weeks, my appetite improved daily, my mouth ulcer disappeared, and my exhaustion and fatigue lessened over the next few weeks.
Although my treatment has ended, my cancer journey hasn’t. I need to wait three months for an MRI scan to see if the treatment worked. I’m grateful to be getting better every day and doing things to strengthen myself. I need physio on my neck before returning to work due to limited mobility and pain. I’m hopeful my salivary glands will start working by then, as waking up with a dry mouth is challenging. Like a sunflower, I feel more alive each day and appreciate the small things in life.
Song: Never by Take That because I will never forget this journey. I may not be feeling very well right now but the journey has made me appreciate the smallest things in life around, like being grateful, being kind and love.
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