What have I done to deserve this?

6th September 2022

Bridget got the best of me today. I keep telling myself to breathe darling. This is only a chapter in your life, it is not my whole story. Please keep telling yourself that while you are feeling jumbled. For those of you who do not know I have decided to name my cancer Bridget because it is more softer word and makes me feel less frightened and more open about my journey.

Today I felt I needed to explore how I was feeling and acknowledge my thoughts. I resonated with a song by the Pet Shop Boy's, What have I done to deserve this. The words connected with how I was feeling. I don't mind sharing, I danced to this song a good few times with tears in my eyes feeling sorry for myself, thinking I have experienced my sister dying of cancer, my niece born at 6 months premature, not knowing if she would survive, my dad suffering from dementia, loosing my beloved friend during the Westminster terror attack, then Rob and I loosing three parents consecutively in one year followed by the Pandemic, Covid 19. Fortunately, Rob and I did not experience any loss during this period and we must have both been A symptomatic because we were not unwell. Anyhow, I not ashamed to say I was feeling sorry for myself and the song What Have I done to deserve this, by the Pet Shop Boys echo's my emotional feelings today.